Monday, October 05, 2009

DEAR PRESIDENT OBAMA,

Since you were inaugurated last January I have been following the events of your time in office with great interest. These are indeed challenging times, and I am hopeful that you possess the necessary wisdom to correctly navigate the tricky waters that our nation has drifted into. However, with healthcare dominating the headlines on the domestic front and the middle east and Afghanistan monopoloizing the foreign policy discussion I have yet to hear you make any remarks regarding Sasquatch. Is North America home to a great ape species? We may never know for sure unless the federal government stops fiddle-farting around and commits its vast resources (...and military, I might add) to the task of resolving this question. A cursory search of the White House website failed to uncover any policy positions on the matter. I was similarly dissapointed with the former administration. I have a feeling that an aggressive attempt to settle the sasquatch question once and for all is just the sort of bold leadership and initiative that America is looking for in these troubled times. So piss or get off the pot, Mr. President! Any scenario, even a refusal to commit federal resources to this important cause, is preferable to your continued silence. The cryptozoological community is counting on you, and looking to your high office for leadership and material support in the cause to describe North America's Great Ape to science. Thank you for your kind attention to this matter.

Respectfully,

Job Tate


2 comments:

BeckyLove said...

I have lost a lot of sleep regarding this issue. I hope his voice is heard.

Sandy said...

Okay. So did you write this and send it in your brother's name? I'm slow on the uptake sometimes, though I agree with the letter in it's entirety regardless of authorship.