Thursday, March 08, 2007


In a surprise press conference today, Josh Tate separated himself from the rest of his family by publicly stating for the first time that he prefers Diet Coke to Diet Pepsi. The unexpected announcement is likely to cause tension between the Western Tates and their Eastern counterparts who remain loyal to pepsi.

The Tates, who are famous for their fierce brand loyalty, were not available for comment following the announcement, but many speculate that this may cause a schism, or possibly even a rap-like west coast vs east coast war.

Following the press conference Josh Tate was asked what impact the announcement would have on family relations; "I have been living a lie for some time now, and it just came to the point where I didn't care what anyone thought. I would say I like pepsi, but I was drinking coke. I was a hypocrite and I just couldn't take it anymore. I know some people are going to have a problem with it, but what can I say... it goes down smooth with just the slightest hint of cinnamon. I have to be honest and coke tastes better. I'm a coke man now. If anyone has a problem with that then I'm ready to break leather and throw down. Bring it!"

Despite his apparent reversal on the coke vs. pepsi issue Josh Tate was adamant that he remains loyal to other products such as aquafresh toothpaste, verizon wireless and prefers honeydew to cantaloupe melons.

Assosciated Press


Steve said...

Sounds like a future Clash to me.

Like the redesign.M

lisa d said...

welcome to the dark side tate. you're, like, soooo california.

john tate said...

To the best of my knowledge - the Culture Constitution's stated loyalties lie with straight-up Pepsi. Being a strict constructionist - I've never felt compelled in matters pertaining to by-products such as diet brands. That being said, Diet Pepsi is superior Tate. You've got the wrong one baby uh-huh! Of course, they both pale in comparison with the once and future beverage king - Exclaim. Never was liquid refreshment crisper or cheaper.